Posted by: youluckybum | April 4, 2010

What would Grandma say?


My original idea for this blog was about this topic.  I have realized lately that there really is a better, or more loving way to say almost anything.  That got me thinking about the term “unconditional love.”  I always shied away from this term because it confused me and because I really never figured it existed completely. 

I have heard my children use it on me many times.  “Where’s the (unconditional) love, Mom?”  Or more exactly, “You  never appreciate what we DO do….only what we don’t do,” or “Why can’t you ever be happy with what we do? Why do you always expect more?”  All true statements, that make me now cringe terribly.  But it was who I was, not who I am. 

I sat and thought about my life and asked myself, “when did you feel the most loved?” And I think that feeling loved is also about not feeling judged.  At least for me.  So my grandma Cecilia is the one person I know I felt that kind of unconditional love from.  She thought I was wonderful!  I was a hero in her eyes.  I didn’t have to DO or SAY anything.  She just loved me unconditionally because I was her granddaughter AND because she chose to look at all her family like that. 

I was always welcomed at Grandma’s house AND I knew it!  That is the key, I think.  To love someone unconditionally is amazing, but for them to know that and feel that; that is a true gift, I think.  And it is one (gift) I now hold dearly, appreciate and want to give back to my own family. 

Which leads me back (finally) to my initial question. “What would Grandma say?”  I have decided to use this question to myself whenever I feel inclined or asked to make a comment, opinion or statement regarding others. Especially my family.  Instead of acting and thinking and talking like a Mom (“Did you finish that?”, “When will you do that?”, etc.), I want to think, talk and act more like my Grandma Cecilia.

What does that mean? Be encouraging; not discouraging.  Be appreciative, not judging.  Be happy, not dissatisfied.  Be welcoming, not distracted.  Listen intently and with complete joy, not half-heartedly and with lots of opinions.  Accept the people in my life for who they are and not try to change, manipulate or control them. 

I truly am a LUCKYBUM because I know the feeling that Grandma gave me and I still have it in me.  Now it’s my turn to share it.  How about you?

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