Posted by: youluckybum | April 22, 2010

accept or change

Lately I am really getting the message that I need to accept people for who they are and not try to change them, or be so affected by them.  I usually move away from someone after they have said something that is hurtful or troubling to me.  Sometimes I will try and say what I think, but I don’t find that very helpful.  I have several friendships that move in and out based on this.  I get that it isn’t my job to agree with them or even change their mind I guess.  But I get tired of the same old conversations.

I am not wanting their opinions oftentimes.  But I get them anyway.  So then what?  Ignore it (usually) and change the subject as quickly as possible.  But that seems so shallow.  If I am not enjoying the conversation or the company, why do it?  Because pretty soon the only person around me would be me.  That alone is not necessarily the issue of this  post.  What is the issue is the idea that our friendships, connections, relationships are not really suppose to be what we want necessarily.  I have realized that if all my friends, family and co-workers did and said exactly what I wanted them to do or say, my life would really be boring.  Not satisfying, not enjoyable or even fun.  To surround myself with people that only agreed with me would be very restrictive and again, boring.

So I am taking a new stance on this.  I can agree to disagree, or I can just listen and think about what they say without really needing to agree or disagree.  I can even disagree!! Maybe if I spend time really listening to what they are saying and responding, they won’t repeat the same old stuff over and over.  AND (this is big) I can also stop repeating myself, which I am sure I do.

Diversity, contrast, respect, and acceptance are definitely spices I want in my life.  Think about it.


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