Posted by: youluckybum | July 29, 2010

Living in Neutral


Lately I feel like I am living in neutral.  Not reverse, which is of course, good.  But not really in forward either.  Just neutral.

I miss the highs of moving forward, but not the lows of going backward.  I look forward to the excitement, thrill and juice of forward.  I am grateful for the lack of depression, anxiety and disappointment of reverse.  But somehow or other, I feel stale, bland, lackluster.  I am not as focused or desperate as I usually am.  I am trying to “allow.”  I am trying to let go and just flow with what ever comes my way.  But in that letting go, I have some how let go of  too much I think.

If the goal is to let go and live a life of allowing, then where is the excitement, the anticipation, the thrill?  I am not sure.  This is all kind of new for me.  I really get that I need to let go and not try so hard, not hold on so tight, and just stop and smell the flowers once-in-awhile.  But how do I do that and not feel like I am living in neutral?

If your thoughts create your reality and I am not focusing on anything particularly, am I creating a bland existence? Hmm. Food for thought.

I think that living a life of allowing is not what I thought.  I also think that right now I am not sure what I want.  I am maybe at a crossroads, and I am just not sure which way to go.  Which explains my life in neutral.

In order for me to really move forward, I need to know what direction I am going.  Right now, I really don’t.  So, until I do, I guess I will just try to focus on feeling good, being happy and maybe trying to enjoy life in neutral?

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Responses

  1. Hey again – I love your blogs – you always give me much to think about – I feel I have been in your shoes from time to time.

    Such good news that you are no longer in reverse – that is to be congratulated. Allowing and being in the flow of what comes to you is a good place to be – as long as you know what it is that you are wanting. I think of it like setting the internal sat-nav in your mind – if you don’t know what you want, how will you know where to go or when you’ve arrived there.

    Maybe useful to sit quietly and ponder on how you’d like your life to be, what do you want? Who do you want in it? Where… etc.

    Think about what excites you, when have you been happy – what were you doing? What successes have you had in the past. Try and connect them to that inner essence – when you felt like you could fly, felt ready to burst with happiness/gratitude – these may point to patterns and may help you to find your direction?

    Have fun and feel fabulous – Ali Soleil xx

    • Thanks for the comments. I am not sure what I want; guess that’s the neutral. Actually I know what I want, just not where. Trying to decide whether to move or not. Have given myself a year though to contemplate all the pros and cons. I know myself well enough to know that one day I will just wake up and know. That’s how it goes for me usually. It’s just getting there that sometimes creates a challenge for me. I like having a direction, a focus and maybe even a dream! It can change, but I like to have one and right now it’s just not really there…….yet!


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