Posted by: youluckybum | August 20, 2010

Happiness as an inside job

I believe happiness is an inside job.  I have pretty much felt that way for several years now.  And I am glad I do.  Because it releases me to be happy even when others around me are not.  It also demands that I take responsibility for myself and all aspects of blame go out the window.  Or at least they should.

As Abraham-Hicks asks, “What are you doing,  what are you giving your attention to,”  that causes you to be unhappy?   In my case, it was often conditions more than people.  I had to be 20 lbs lighter, more physically fit, more capable.  All truly nonsense when you really think about it.

There is never going to be a moment in my life when all conditions, all people, all aspects are totally perfect and I can therefore be happy.  So why set up so many uncontrollable conditions in our lives and then think “I can be happy when……”.

Instead, realizing that I can be happy right here right now without abs of steel, without loved ones all being happy, without the perfect mate, without the perfect amount of money is so intoxicating and overwhelming.  Really?  I can feel joy and love and light right here right now without a clean house,  a corner office or a new car?

So if this is true, what is happiness?  What does it look or feel like?  How do I know it when it happens?

That is really the best part of all.  Happiness is very personal, very dynamic and changing constantly.  What gave you great joy today, may not feel so incredible in a week.  But would you really want it to?  Change is the one constant in our lives.  Without change life would get awfully boring.  Sometimes I wish it would slow down a bit or actually be boring, but I also realize how dull life would be without change.

The real change comes from our thinking.  When you can begin to think differently, you can feel differently.  It is not always easy.  When life is bringing you a crisis, it is really hard to stop and think, “but I know happiness is an inside job and I don’t have to let this crisis affect my happiness.”  In fact, it can be darn right impossible in the moment.  But when those all too familiar feelings of unease, fear and worry start to take hold, you can begin to recognize those feelings, slow the process and eventually turn it all around.

When you have an experience in your workplace or in your family that allows you to watch all the drama and chaos and you really are a witness to it all and not a participant, you have begun to experience your own personal happiness.  Just as your happiness is your own responsibility, so it is for everyone.  Letting go of the need or desire to “fix” others’ circumstances is a big step towards your own happiness.  You are not in control of anyone else…just you.  And that is definitely enough.

Think about, play with it, try it.  Walk through your day today looking for your joy.  What brings a smile to your face?  What causes you to stop and feel alive for a moment?

And when someone or something walks into your world today and causes you negative feelings, stop and ask yourself, “is this how I want to feel?”  If not, remember…..happiness is an inside job!!



  1. Great blog, we seem to be on similar journeys. Look forward to reading more of your insights.

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