Tell a different Story

I was listening to a CD in my car yesterday and the woman was telling stories from her childhood.  This made me think about my own story.  What is my story?  I know what my old story was.  But now I need a new story.  I am in transformation and I truly need a new story.  The old story is tired and worn out and pretty much irrelevant now.

What is my new story? Transformation for sure.  Transformation from wife and mother to self-empowered woman.  I will always be a mother, but my need to mother my children is done.  And their need for mothering is pretty much done too.

So who am I?  Maybe more importantly, who do I want to be?  I am pretty much basking in the feeling of freedom that comes over me every now and again.  The realization that I can go where ever I want, whenever I want is sinking in.  And I gotta tell you; I LOVE IT!

Somewhat like being in a candy store or at a gourmet food buffet, I get to choose!  And choose I do!  I have chosen to go away for the weekend of my 29th wedding anniversary (we are in the middle of a divorce), I have chosen to go to a Three Dog Night Concert on my birthday weekend, and I have chosen to go to some community classes on all sorts of things.  All very different and fun!  And not what I would normally do.

Trying to define who I am, or what my story is right now is too overwhelming.  I can say with some certainty what I am not, and what is not part of my story now.  But where my life is leading me in this current phase, I really don’t know.  And maybe that’s the point.  Maybe I don’t have to know?  Maybe I can enjoy it for what it is; undefined.  At least for now.

I do think spending some time on the story I want is valuable.  I think that is probably another post in itself.  But for now I am grateful that my life has really striped me of my old story.  It is just not current or even in existence anymore.  This is good.  Scary, but good.

I would not have made all the changes in my life that a cheating husband causes you to make.  It just wouldn’t have happened.  But it did.  And now I see the rainbow.  Now I see the positive aspects of what was probably the hardest challenge of my life.  And I am grateful and happy.  I am free of a depressive, oppressive relationship and I am free to move into the me that I want to be.  And hopefully the me I was meant to be.  That is my story.  How about you?