Posted by: youluckybum | November 17, 2010

When I see something I do not want

Lately I have been very aware of  hearing or seeing something negative and being pulled out of my own great positive space.  I will walk into work with a joy factor of 8 and something will be happening and all of a sudden I am not feeling so great any more.  I can feel my resistance to what ever it is and I can feel my good feeling fading away.  I begin to grasp at anything and everything to make myself feel better again.  But it is like there is a giant elephant in the room.  As I resist looking at the negative situation, I just pull myself into too many pieces and then I really don’t feel good.

My co-workers were all beginning to feel the same way, so we did a focus wheel at work on Friday afternoon.  It was a bit tedious.  Realistically, we knew that life isn’t always perfect or even great. We knew  that we would always have times of adversity or resistance.  We also knew we didn’t want the negative things that occur around us to affect us so much. In other words, we want to be able to live and experience our lives, but not be so reactive in our life.

The focus wheel brought us to the realization that we all needed a “happy place” in our minds.  Someplace we could go, some song we could sign, some feeling we could muster. As our attention to the unwanted issue drifted to our happy place (or at least away from that which was unwanted) we felt better.  The mere distraction of thinking about something else was the key.  Now our focus was shifted, our minds had let go of that unwanted thing and we were able to breathe again.

As simple as this sounds, it is not always easy to do.  When someone is in your face it is a real challenge to simply think a better thought.  But a new piece to this puzzle was revealed to me in a dream the night after we did the focus wheel at work.  Think about gratitude. Just find something to be grateful for.  This is easy, quick and can be done even in a tense situation.  I can definitely find something to be grateful for even when I am talking to a grumpy customer or dealing with an office tension.

Try it.  The next time someone or something knocks you out of your bliss, try being grateful for something.  It is impossible to stay focused on the unwanted AND be grateful for something at the same time.



  1. Good call–gratitude is the best! 🙂

  2. I love how your posts are like a “guide to practical happiness”.

  3. Fabulous post!

    I like to have a few happy memories stored away that I can draw on at short notice… so I can go back there in my mind, see what I saw, hear what I hear, smelt, tasted, touched… it’s amazing how you can change your state in an instant.

    When you put yourself into an attitude of gratitude chemicals which are naturally released really give you the feel good factor… how great to have access to these all the time! 🙂

    Have a fab weekend!

  4. Good one
    Ur post made me think about happy memories of my lives I am so much relieved

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