Posted by: youluckybum | September 2, 2010

Seeing Yourself thru Someone Else’s Eyes


I am confused and befuddled.  I have a “friend” that misquotes me and labels me.  She has “figured out” who I am and put me in a box, labeled me and that is who I am; according to her.  I argue her definition.  It doesn’t matter.  According to her, I just need to be okay with it.  Really?

According to her, I always have someone in my life that there is drama with.  I am not sure that is exactly how I would put my life.  I am going through a divorce,  we did put our son in intervention some years ago, and oh yeah, i left my soon-to-be ex husband’s family business that I helped run for 18 years.  So, I think a little “drama” as she puts it, is also part of what my life has offered me lately. Or more accurately, what I have created lately.

This friend is no longer married, has no children or family of her own and tells me I like drama.  Well, maybe.  But for some reason, I really don’t like that idea much.  I like joy.  I like happiness.  I life fun and laughter.  Drama is not on any of my lists.  And I don’t really think it is on anyone else’s either.  Yet, I am also okay with a certain amount of drama.  I think “drama”, or life’s little upsets is what teaches us.  It’s where we grow and mature and learn who we are and what we are made of.

I think there is a difference in going out and looking and creating a bunch of drama, and just dealing with what shows up for ourselves.  Gossips are drama people.  I am not a gossip.  I do not intentionally “stir the pot” or create what I call evil triangles.  (When person A just has to tell person C what person B said).

As I write this I am pretty clear that my issue with all of this is the judge and jury.  I have a right to be the judge and jury of my own life.  So do you. But to be the judge and jury of someone else’s life?  No, I don’t think so.  My “friend” has a right to keep me out of her life based on her opinions.  And I have a right to move on to people who don’t find it necessary to label me and put me in a box and watch for signs that confirm their label.  That doesn’t feel healthy or friendly to me.  How about you?

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